Today I’m feeling like my brain is on over load. I haven’t posted in a couple of weeks, I promised myself that I would keep up with blogging. So here is a little about everything that’s been on my mind.
1. JOB– still no job. I’ve been applying everywhere, and nothing. I’m getting so impatient. Praying and hoping for something really soon. With the holidays just around the corner I’m feeling a little bummed, this whole trusting God thing is soooo not easy.
2. LOSING WEIGHT– I’ve been trying for the past several months to change the way that I eat and exercise. I got on the scale this morning and I have not gained any weight in the last several days. YAY. I haven’t been working out at all 😦 which is NOT helping with the whole feeling bummed out feeling. But YAY again…. no weight gain.
3. CO-PARENTING– I hate this whole, co-parenting thing. Don’t get me wrong, I am so very very thankful that my sons father is very involved and helps me with anything that I need for our little boy, but man do I hate not being able to see him on the weekends. I miss him like crazy! My apartment is so quiet, everything in its place. No Dora the Explorer blaring in the background. I hate it. The quietness drives me nuts.
4. RELEARNING WHAT I KNOW ABOUT MEN- A couple of weeks ago I got ‘Think Like a Lady, Act Like a Man’. I picked it up with some skepticism, thinking okay, I know men. What in heavens can this book add to my expertise on men. Well, I’ve read the book and I have to say, I learned a few things. (that’s a blog for tomorrow) But I can say that I’ve changed the game plan. I’m not going to settle, even if that means waiting a little longer for a good man. 🙂
5. HEALING– I am allowing my self to heal. After my separation and eventually divorce , I had to be strong, I had to stand, to put on a tough face and stand when all I wanted to do was to crawl into a small hole and just die. I had a moment a couple of weeks ago, I was praying and I just started to cry. And it was such a release. I cried because sometimes things are hard, I cried because sometimes being alone is lonely. I cried because I don’t always have it together and I cried because I looked back on the past year and even though it didn’t feel like it at the time, I know God was moving, healing, caring for, and loving me all the while.
I love this song. It describes how Ive felt in the past and still do at times. All I can do is thank God for carrying me through these times.