Baby fever

After my son was born I pretty much settled my heart on only having one child.  Not because I only wanted one but because we struggled to have Judah.   After trying for a couple of years,  we turned to IVF for help. According to an IVF calculator our chances for a pregnancy the first time was 32%, that number dropped to 10%-20% being that there was only one egg being transferred.  

I was terrified.   I used to lie awake at night praying,  hoping that everything was okay early on in the pregnancy.   Because of all that we went through we decided that we would adopt. 

Fast forward to now.  Im divorced.   Not dating anyone.   Ha, there’s not even someone on the radar.   But the other night I was sitting with my almost 4 year old son and he turns and asks me if he could have a brother.  😦  my heart broke.  I grew up in a big family and loved it.  I feel bad that he doesn’t have any siblings.   I wish he did.  I see him sometimes in his room playing by himself and I wish he had someone to giggle with, to be his side kick, to grow old with. 

Who knows.  Maybe one day, hopefully soon, I’ll meet that gentle man that will love me and maybe give me that big family I’ve always wanted. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s