This morning he cried

As of Monday, he started daycare.  Only a parent who had dropped off their child to daycare for the first time can understand how I felt on Monday.  He didn’t cry when I left because I creeped out when he wasn’t looking.  I felt so bad.  It was like I was leaving a little piece of my heart behind. {sad face}
I hate that I have to leave him but I know that along with the fact that I have to, he will make friends and socialize with kids his own age.  From what his teacher told me, he had no problems playing with the other kids.  I can’t believe how much he has grown.  Last night I was scanning through some old pictures and I found one of me holding him just days after he was born and he was so small.
Now my eyes water when he does something new.  He is so smart and so loving and sweet.  I am so proud and honored to be his mommy.  Being a mommy to this little one isn’t always easy.  Terrible-twos are just around the corner.  It’s beginning to show its ugly little head here and there like the other day when he threw a fit just outside of the car door because he did not want to get off.  But I’m learning that even those moments are precious and soon he will grow too old for fits.  I will post pics of that little fiasco later on.
– Angela

Life as I know it

For the past several days I have been really struggling with the fact that the life that I once knew is pretty much over.  Some days are better than others.  Some weeks I’m fine.  I’m happy and content with spending my days with my handsome little man.  But then there are days and weeks for that matter that are just plain hard.  

A friend, who also recently went through a divorce, said that the first year or so will be the hardest to deal with and I could not agree more.  So far Thanksgiving and Christmas were pretty tough. Especially around my   brothers and sisters, seeing them together, happy, enjoying each other.  Judah’s birthday is the next big event with us.  
I really don’t know how to even precede with planning and all that good stuff.  Things are okay between dad and I, but I don’t know if I’m ready to celebrate things together    I’ve talked to a few people that say that getting along and even trying things out together just makes things easier all around.  I don’t think that I am ready just yet.  I don’t really know what I’m going to do.  
But anyway, I think that this move will be good for me.  Maybe it will help get my mind off of some things and focused on the more positive things in my life.  
On another note, Judah will be starting daycare next month when I move.  I’m a big baby and just might cry more than he will.  I’m excited that he will make new friends and have a environment that will stimulate his thinking. 🙂