I will

I will always fight for you Judah! I will go above and beyond to help you and guide you in life. I will make your voice heard when they want you to just go with the flow.

I will advocate for you. I will ask questions and seek the best answers, because I am your mama and that’s what I do best.

I will question. I will research. I will go till I am out of fumes. And then some. I will make them see you.

I will push you. You may not like it at times, but I’ll do it cause I love you. I will make you step out of your comfort zone. I will require that you try your very best. I will not turn my back on you. Ever. I will demand the very best for you.

I will cheer the loudest when you succeed and will be there to catch you when you fail. Because you will fail at some things. I will encourage you to try again.

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Happiness

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Dear Judah,

Your birthday is only two months away baby.  I cannot believe how big you are getting. We went to the park and you were picking flowers for me. I love you more than any words I could ever use. You are so kind and caring and I’m proud to be your mommy.

Life has calmed down so much. We are happy. You are happy. Your favorite thing to say is -I was thinking about you mommy- you definitely know how to melt my heart. Years ago I was so scared about raising you without your daddy in the same house.

But today I’m proud to say that we got this. I would not trade the time I have with you for anything in the world.

Favorite food- sausage and eggs, you could eat this everyday. For every meal.

Favorite song- Centuries by FallOutBoy

Favorite place to sleep- “in my back” as you say. You love to curl up behind me in my bed. You sneak in almost every night. I pretend that I mind but I actually love having you sleeping next to me.

I love you! I love the person I’ve become because of you.

♥ mommy

Judah

Hi love.  It’s February 17th.  I’m sitting at work.  I’ve been thinking about you all morning.   The past few weeks have been a little tough for you and I.  I started back to work a little over a month ago and it’s been a bumpy transition.   Every day gets better.

I love you so much Judah!  Last night I put you to be and sat with you for a little bit.  You held on to my neck and you said I love you mommy and planted a big wet kiss on my cheek.

My heart melted and I fought hard not to start crying.

You are becoming your own little person, son.  You will be 3 years old in May.  It’s hard to believe that so much time has gone by.  I’m trying my hardest to savor every moment.   To soak up your sweet innocence.   There is nothing that I wouldn’t do for you, love.  Sometimes we are driving home and you fall asleep in your car seat.  I take you out and you wrap your little arms around me and nuzzle your sweet face next to my neck and all I can feel is honored and blessed to be your mommy.

My prayer every night is that I raise you to be a great man.  A man that loves the Lord, that is respectful,  honest, caring, giving and one that stands up for good even if you stand alone.  I pray that I am a good example to you that I show you how to go after your dreams.  That through me you learn to me bold and a leader.  I want you to have a passion and I want you to use it to drive you to work for the things that your heart desires.

You, my dear are currently a handful.  You’re going through this…stage.   Although it’s tough for me to handle at times, you are learning limits, learning to be brave and confident.  To assert yourself and sometimes fight for what you want.

I love you, pumpkin.   As crazy as some moments are…. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

♥mommy

2013

2013 was probably one of the craziest years that I have had.  This year I was living with my sister and her family.  Our divorce was finalized in March of this year.  I moved into my own apartment.  I lost my job.  I hurt.  I fell down and stayed down for a while. I cried a lot. I learned that things change, situations change and that people change.  I dated some and quickly realized that it was too soon.  I hoped and dreamed.  I lost. I prayed and I understood why things did or didn’t happen the way that I planned.  I complained and wallowed in a big pool of self pity…. almost all year long.
But in this year I also fought. I loved.  I laughed a lot.  I made new friends.  I was blessed with another year with my son.  Despite being unemployed God never ceased to provide for me and Judah.  I prayed and God answered.  I was blessed with a job that only God could have opened a door for.  I got up.  Learned to keep going.  I hoped and I dreamed.  I allowed myself to be vulnerable.  I watched Judah grow, listened to him laugh and sometimes cry.  I was the best mom I could be.  I was reminded of just how much I am loved by my family and friends; reminded that despite feeling lonely at times that I am never alone.
This upcoming year I want to do things a little a lot different.  I want to slow down and enjoy life, spend time with Judah, laugh more, spend more time with family and friends.  Hopefully this year I can do more things with Judah.  My plan is to do something different with him every month.  Doesn’t have to be anything big.  Maybe a museum or a new park, Sea World or Disney world or the beach.  I want to take care of myself too.  Physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I’m really excited about what 2014 will bring.  Happy early New Year.

Dear Judah

Dear Judah,
I just wanted to take a second to tell you just how much I love you. You are about 5 minutes away from your 3rd birthday. I can’t believe how time has just flown by. You got this been all week with me baby and I loved every minute. This pictures of you and I just being silly. You didn’t want me to put you down everytime I try to you calling your little legs around me your arms around my neck saying no mommy no down.  I have no idea what I would do without you.
I miss you from the moment you walk out of the door. You’re such a smart little boy.  You are kind and caring and really really silly.  You love to goof off and make me laugh.  just the other day you realize that you can roll your eyesand when you’re acting really silly your roll your eyes or wink at me. Especially when it’s time for bed, you’ll try anything in order for me not to put you to bed. Each night I come into your room and cover you up. I love seeing your little face curled up in a blanket.
You are growing way to fast.  Please slow down love.
Love,
mommy

Hi blog world!!

For those of you that are still following, let me take a moment to say I’M BACK!  It’s been several months since I last posted anything so let me start with the most recent info.  Here is Judah.  My baby is growing up :(.  He turned two and a half this past November and I am a little sad that my little nugget is getting older.
The last time that I posted anything Judah and I had just moved into our apartment, Judah had a birthday, .  To say that things were a little crazy is an understatement.  It was quite an adjustment having to do things on my own.  Being alone was very scary…at first.  Slowly things fell into place and we have adjusted quite nicely.
My baby is talking a lot more.  I absolutely ADORE when he calls me MOM, he sounds so grown up.  I’m trying to potty train and it has not been easy.  I just got him a potty watch so hopefully that will help both of us.

Other things that have gone on.  I was laid off from work a couple of months ago.  Things have been stretched a little thin but thankfully God has been very good to me and we have survived.  Just last week I went for an interview and got the job.  I am beside myself, this job is a blessing in more ways than one.

I attempted to have some what of a dating life, but that is proving to be a little more difficult than I initially thought.  I’ve been praying about somethings and I just know that God will bring that person into my life when the time is right.  Right?  I’m realizing that there really isn’t a need to rush things.  Enjoying Judah is my top priority at this point.  I have some fun plans for us this coming year.  He’s getting to that age that he is enjoying and understanding more.  The plan is to keep this blog updated.  For me and for Judah 🙂
– Angela