Let me first start by saying thank you to those who still follow. It’s been a while since I’ve written but it’s not for lack of material. Life has just been crazy.
It official now, I’m now a mom of a four year old. Where has the time gone? I feel like it was just yesterday that I was praying for a positive pregnancy test. Sometimes i look at him and wonder how I was so lucky to be his mom. He is smart and caring. He has an a amazing imagination and is so creative. I cant believe that in less than a year he will be a kindergartner. I hope and pray that I am leading him in the right direction. I have to admit that sometimes I fear that I’m lacking something, that not having his father under the same roof will somehow change who he should have been. Hopefully that will change soon. But speaking of men…I met a guy!
Yes there’s a guy, I guess that explains a little of my absences as well. He’s really great. ..but more about him later.
I don’t know how I got this far. But my heart is happy. I’m at peace with the way things my life have turned out.
The good, the bad, and the ugly.
Well get to the moving in part in a sec. First off great news, I got a job offer! I received a call the end of last week and I am so excited. The job won’t start till the middle of January so I have a few more weak to enjoy with my baby.
Christmas is great I got to spend it with some family and my son. It was definitely a lot better than last years Christmas. Holidays are getting just a little bit more manageable. But Christmas didn’t come without drama.
Couple days before Christmas I was out shopping late so I called my sons dad and ask if you could say one more night with him. He recently moved out of his apartment and was supposed to move in with his brother temporarily. Well that night I found out that he decided to move in with his girlfriend. I was upset, because I’m not that comfortable with my son living with someone he’s only known for a couple of months.
I was actually surprised. We’ve only been divorced since March. But anyway, at the end of our conversation I asked to speak with my son. The second I asked he tried to get off the phone with me. I know when he’s lying. He said that my son was in the car with his girlfriend. So I asked him again where my son was. And that’s what he told me he left him alone at the apartment . With his girlfriend.
I couldn’t believe that he would be so dumb as to leave our 2.5 yo son with someone who he has only known for a few months and who has not really been around my kiddo. I couldn’t even talk to him. I hung the phone and I was so angry and upset. Call me a crazy overprotective mom there a lot of crazy people out there that do really sick hurtful things to kids.
I hung up the phone with him. And he call me back a couple of times and left some crazy messages saying that he trusted her and that I just needed to get over it. I know that he’s moving on, but its so hard to trust someone that you don’t even know to be around your baby. We haven’t spoken since.
Had a long chat with my parents. They listen to me and all that I had to say and then give me their wonderful words of wisdom. That I just have to trust that I have to trust him. And that I have to trust God first and foremost for his safety.
I don’t know what to do. I really feel like I should talk to her. But honestly I don’t even know what to say to her. Besides the fact that I would rain all types of Hell on her if she ever hurt my baby. 😦