Thanksgiving 2015

Happy Thanksgiving ya’ll!!!  It’s been almost 5 years that I started blogging.  Crazy how quickly time goes by.  This years been full if surprises,  mostly good ones.  I’ll be moving this weekend.   This new place will be new and exciting.  Somewhere I planned versus somewhere I just ended up in.  The moving part is killing me but I’m ready to start a new chapter.   Ill be closer to my family and to my boyfriend.  Ahhhh…..

Remember I said I met a guy.  Well this month marks 7 months that we’ve been together.  Is it lame to keep count? Anyway,  long story short, we met on tinder this past summer.  Tinder of all places.  I never would’ve guessed that I would meet someone I could actually fall in love with.

He is the sweetest man.  Not like that cheesy I’ll-feed-you-bullshit kinda sweet, but that genuine I care for you, I adore you kinda sweet.  The strange part is, he doesn’t look the part.  He’s quiet, reserved and to others may come off as an asshole or to “good” to talk to you, but I found this other said.   The side that holds my face and tells me he loves me.  The side that catches him staring at me while he’s trying to hide his grin.  The side that would run to my aide at the mention of needing help.  It feels genuine.  Free.  Full of hope and love.  I feel so lucky.  Things are easy. Conversation flows like water and even in silence there’s a comfort in just being next to each other.  And the sex….well it’s pretty amazing. Like really really good ya’ll. 

Sometimes it feels a little surreal.  He met Judah last month and I met his kiddos this month.  I wanted to wait a while to make sure we protected the hearts of the kiddos.  My kiddo loves him and he seems to get along well with Judah.  His kiddos are teenagers, sweet and well mannered.   I try to play it cool but deep down I want them to like me.  I’ve given them thier space and moved slowly to give them time to get used to me.  All of this makes me so happy.  

Im excited to see what 2016 has in store for us.  Till next time.

Angela

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Help me!!! I’m drowning

It’s 11 o’clock pm here in Texas.  I just came back from the grocery store, I’ve been stuck in my apartment for the past day and a half.  Winter storm of 2013 brought sheets of unforgiving ice and pretty much shut down north Texas.  Well, this nice little storm has allowed me to have some quiet time with myself (my son has been with his dad for the past several days).  With nothing to do my mind has been on overload.

I will start with what happened today while it’s fresh on my mind.  I was talking with my sons dad and he mentioned his girlfriend giving him advice about my son.  Side note–My sons dad and I separated in September 2012 and our divorce was finalized in March 2013.  One of the things that I’ve struggled with the most is that my ex-husband started dating soon after we separated.  When he asked for a divorce I specifically asked him to wait to date until after our divorce was final out of respect for me.  He agreed, saying that he would never ever think of doing such a thing.  This is not what happened.  Over and over again during our separation I caught him in lies and caught him lying about going out with other women.  This would not have bothered me so much if (1) he didn’t pretend that he was still interested in making things work (2) he didn’t ask me to wait on money for my son when he was out spending this money on dates (3) he didn’t lie directly to my face or (4) that I was trying everything that I knew to do to salvage our relationship.

Fast forward to tonight.  This month marks the one year anniversary of the month that we divorced.  From the moment that I found out that he was out dating I questioned EVERYTHING.  I felt to worthless.  I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he didn’t want anything to do with me and I have always wondered when he started dating.  So tonight, I asked him.

Honestly, I wasn’t surprised at his answer.  He said that sometime around when we first separated he created a POF account and started dating.  Soon after that he said that he created a match account.  He followed this by stating that he didn’t cheat on me.  -.- I’m sorry.  If you are married and dating, that’s cheating in my book.  Recently, he has been dating this woman.  From what I know they have been together for a couple of months.  Parents have been introduced and she has also met my son.

Saying all of this, welcome to my pity party.  I feel like a five year old, wanting to throw a tantrum.  Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t want him back.  I did in the beginning but I realized over time that he didn’t want to be with me long before we got a divorce.  Why chase something or someone who doesn’t want you, right?  But I feel that I should have someone too.  I guess you can say I’m feeling a little jealous that he has someone to talk to, to date, to kiss, to hug and so on.  It seems a little unfair. No?

Please, I’m still a rookie at this whole divorced thing.  Any advice is appriciated. 🙂

Dating for dummies

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This is honestly how I feel right now.  I joined an online dating site for all the reasons that everyone seems to have joined.  I don’t do the clubs anymore and when I go to a bar it’s usually with some married folks. :/

This past Friday I went on my very first date since joining this site.  I will call him “JC”.  So this guy has two kiddos.  He told me that he had to temporarily move back into his parents house. Warning sign #1? I decided that I would give him a chance.

We met at a Mexican restaurant… but there was no parking so we decided to go across the street and grab a burger.  Dinner was… interesting.  This guy had NO FILTER!!  Like none.  He said everything that crossed his mind.  From OMG you have a nice ass… to are we going back to your place.  :/  What a gentlemen right.  I mean I honestly felt bad for the guy.  I think he was really nervous.  So anyway I decided to stick around and walk down to a bar that was a couple of doors down.

Once he relaxed he was much more talkative and we actually had some nice conversation.  We ended the night and I went home.  He called and asked when he could see me again.  I thought it over, and the next day I thought about it some more.  I sent him a text on Saturday telling him that I didn’t really feel a romantic connection but that I would like to hang out as friends if he was up for it.

Date number one.  fail.